Speak the Truth

So I got really nervous a couple days ago. I didn't know why at first, I just know that I panicked. So what did I do? What was my very first impulse?

I Googled what I was thinking about 

While reading a few articles, I told myself I wasn't breaking my "no self help" rule. Why did I tell myself that?? I really truly was breaking it. I justified it to myself at some point. I told myself I wasn't doing self-help, I was just reading about the subject, not looking for answers.

LIE!! omg, took me about 20 minutes of reading articles to realize that my brain lied to me ;-) lol


So I stopped, immediately. And I started writing instead. I started to write what I was thinking, which turned into writing what I was feeling . . . except I have a REALLY HARD TIME "FEELING". I'm never sure how to get inside of my feelings. So I started with asking myself a very brief question on one line, answering it on the next. I did that for about 6 questions in succession - one question and answer leading me to the next. This brought me out to an ANSWER!! I couldn't believe it worked! Wow, small breakthrough. One small step for the brain, one giant leap for the soul!

Now . . . next step - ACT on that answer! I'll let you know how that turns out for me, yikes!
Acting on my thoughts and feelings is a big issue for me. Why? The answer is one word.

FEAR

It seems crazy that after all these years, I am still scared some times to act on my thoughts and feelings. But it is. I gather from all the "self help" stuff available it is hard for A LOT of people. I have improved some what over the years. But the things I have a really hard time acting on are the ones very deep inside me, the very personal ones. These I don't let out to anyone, at any cost. And these are the very things that need to be let out and acted on. These are the things that will help me grow stronger. These are the things that will help me get closer to my personal goals. These are the things that will open me up to living life to the fullest. This is what I want. The only way to achieve this: Get over the fear and act. Speak up.

Each day I must be true to myself and take baby steps to overcoming my fear. Embrace the fear and move forward.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it... You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt