The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Oh wait, no it isn't. I just thought it would. I thought that once I told the truth about my thoughts and feelings, out loud, to real people . . . that the world would cave in on me.

It didn't.

I wasn't even as nervous as I used to get before. I hestitated and then just said "screw it" and said what I wanted to say. Almost immediately I felt more comfortable and my heart stopped racing. I even stopped myself from rambling too much. The response was positive and contemplative of what I had said, not criticizing, not negative, not "omg you're an idiot!".

It was at most, a 10 minute conversation, after which we went on with our normal stuff. Nice.

Then there was another incident. I had something on my mind. I wanted things to go one way but knew someone else wanted it to go the opposite. I knew that the old me would easily do it the way she used to, do it the way the other person wanted. But in the end, I knew that if I did that I would be going backwards instead of forwards. I also knew that it would hurt me deep down in the end and I vowed I would stop doing that to myself. So I resolved to keep true to myself. But I knew I needed to explain myself. But I couldn't find words that felt right. I wrote out my thoughts to try and make it come together. I thought I would just have to send an email to try to explain even though that didn't feel right either. Then all of a sudden, the right moment presented itself, and I just started talking. I said what I needed to say, then shut up. The response: positive and understanding.

I am feeling very blessed.

I look forward to the next time I can work through an issue myself and follow through with the person/people involved. This kind of "self-help" stuff is great! ;-) I have made more progress in the past 3 weeks on my own than years of supposed self-help books and other shit!