Sometimes Life Sucks

Yep, that's true.

Just when you think you've started doing things right, getting your shit together, exercising and eating better, you're thinking positively  . . . something comes along and knocks you down. Sometimes it's just a little nudge and other times it's like a huge horse came along and kicked you right in the head. You think you'll never get up. But don't give up! You'll be ok. Fight through whatever it is. Know that you have the power to push through. We are all strong.

Things like the excessive heat and humidity can take their toll too. We've had quite a few very hot runs lately. We've done well. Remembered our water. Cut our pace down a bit. Cut our distance on Sunday even. It was just too hot. A couple of tips for summer exercising: drink some extra water the day before and then hydrate again after you work out. During your workout don't drink too much that you end up with cramps. On the hot runs, I usually pour most of my water over my head and down my back/chest to cool myself off. Drink little mouthfuls only.

Kids are another stress factor during the summer. Out of school and back at home all day. You've got to find things for them to do, keep them active and cool at the same time. Playdates with other parents & kids is probably a good idea - a picnic in the park, a trip to a park with a river to play at the edge, throw rocks, find minnows and crayfish. Occasionally you need a complete break. Switch off with another parent - they take your kids one time, then you take theirs another day.  Or a "movie afternoon". Set the kids up with a movie and popcorn and a drink. Hey you could even have them make pretend tickets and money like a real theatre. I admire you mothers/parents who stay home all day with your kids! I'm not sure I could do it lol. Sometimes when I come home to mine the irritation starts immediately . . . maybe it's because they are teenagers and "should" be able to take care of themselves!

Eating, I find, is hard sometimes. You just run out of ideas! Or it's hot and you don't want to cook. Or you don't have the groceries in the house. Ugh! I do this all the time. It's actually easier to have the groceries and make up containers of already cut veggies and fruit to snack on. Yesterday I had company for lunch and it was so hot. I had no idea what we were going to have. I ended up grabbing a tray of veggies and some chicken breasts. BBQ'd the breasts with salt & pepper, garlic powder, oregano and a little bit of olive oil. Made a garden salad and potato salad. That was lunch. Even my kids raved.

MY kids are 19 & 16 yrs old and they are 100% capable of looking after themselves. But they don't!  I come home and they ask what's to eat, I'm starving, didn't eat today, nothing in the house, etc, etc. I tell them all the options they had all day and they look at me like I'm crazy . . . it's sooo much woorrkkk mom! Or oh wow, I didn't even think about that, I don't think about putting things together like that . . . blah blah blah.

It goes like this - open the fridge, take a look at all the food you have and just start putting things that you feel like eating on a plate. Then eat it! It doesn't have to be your standard "meals" or sandwiches or other stuff you buy from restaurants. It is supposed to be food. And that's what's in your house. Drop it on a plate, in a bowl, sautee it up in a pan and start eating! The worst thing that happens is you hate it and don't put that combination together or you LOVE it and make it again. I have a co-worker who "lovingly" calls my throw-together lunches "slop". lol.

This was such an all-over-the-place post but I'm at work and just felt the urge to post. I think that is what happened to me this year. All my emails from the past year were mostly composed at work and now that business is improving and we've picked up here, I'm not able to put so much time into it.  :-(  Too bad because I think we're all missing out! I know I miss it. But I'll try.

Have a good rest of your day everyone. I should really get back to work. Everyone is all over the place in the summer and I am out of town for my annual men's baseball tournament from Thursday to Sunday night. "My boys" weekend. Heeheee - I'm excited!   So enjoy your week and weekend and maybe I'll be back to post next week!

P.S. It's IRONMAN WEEKEND - GOOD LUCK CATHY!!!  You'll do AMAZING!

Well . . .

First off, I really need to work on my "titles" of these posts. How boring!

Well . . . I have been eating like crap. Not crap per se . . . but just very little interspersed with crap (McDonalds Big Mac on Monday for lunch!!). The reason for this is my lack of drive and motivation has stopped me from grocery shopping, therefore no real eating.

Not really eating breakfast, then having salad for lunch and I'm not even sure what I've been having for dinner! lol. I have been eating eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner when necessary lol. So easy.

With baseball Mondays and Tuesdays directly after work lots of the days, I've been meeting my husband at a restaurant for a beer and food before the games. Crap!  (That's stopping effective immediately! That's how I gained 30 lbs. when I first started dating him!)

"Quick" fast-food burgers out sometimes for lunch or dinner. Crap!

And when I'm at home and don't have appropriate real food in the house, I just don't eat.

All of this needs to stop. Immediately.

Effective now - uhm nope Friday - uhm nope - Saturday! Yes, Saturday! Effective Saturday groceries will once again be brought into the house. Meals will be planned and prepared. Life will return to normal.

On a another positive note, I have done my running. I ran 3 times last week. Then I ran trail on Sunday with friends and some new ladies. Which was great because they have been racing some of the trail races I have on my "one day" list, so it was nice talking to them about it. I ran with Blue on Tuesday morning before work. I will run tonight after work and Saturday and Sunday! Glad to get that back on track. I have my whole schedule planned and stuck to my fridge.

Hope everyone else is doing great. And I'm thinking about "our Ironwoman to be" and hope things are on track for you!!  Heading into taper I assume . . .

Hi to everyone and don't forget to comment!

I think I'm having what they call a "Mid-life crisis" . . .

I knew I’ve needed something different for a long time. Years even. Something to excite me; to make every day worthwhile. Somewhere along the way I decided it must be my job that needed to change.

As I went along trying to figure out how to change my job I realized that all “jobs” are basically the same, especially since I’d just be jumping jobs not changing my “career”. So then that lead to the idea that it must be my “career” that needed to change. I needed to get out  of my “career” into something totally different. Yep, that’s the key, I thought to myself. That will fix everything.

So I throw myself into thinking about, researching new careers, education, job opportunities, starting my own business etc. I jumped onto that bandwagon full force. I spent weeks on that. I came out with an idea, made some decisions, planned it out and then waited for the pieces to fall into place. As I calmed down and reality set back in, I realized that I wasn’t even sure I actually wanted to do what I’d been planning.

Now that this reality set in I felt a little disappointed. Now what?, I thought. Now I’m not doing anything and I have to do or change something to be happy, remember?? Get on it. Figure it out. I felt out of control of my own life.  Depressed. I was feeling desperate for something, anything, to come to me.

Light bulb appears over my head. MOVE! That’s it! I need to move. There’s the change I need. I’ll move to Yellowknife for a while, live off the job there, find another one, work while doing the schooling I needed for my original plan above. Moving forces me to change careers and I need the help to get me into action. Another perfect idea!  Except one big obstacle – family. I have a family that needs to be considered in this. Hmmm . . . So I start to figure out how to deal with that. I talk to my daughter, I check out the high school so she can come with me. I play everything out in my head. It works. Except deep inside I hear some faint screaming. No you can’t do this. It’s not in the plan. You made a promise.

Promise. Plan.  Shit, where did that voice just come from?? Ahhh yes, the original original plan. The promise I made to myself about 5-6 years ago. The one I have been keeping because it is very very important to me:

“I will start my life, doing what I want, once I have raised my children and gotten them through high school.”  I brought them into this world and it is my responsibility to help them get to the adult world. After that they are on their own. My last 20 yrs have been dedicated to them. That was my passion, my job, my responsibility, to raise them the best I could with what I had. After that, my life becomes my own.

I have 2 years left in the “plan”. Only 2 years. I need to stick to the plan. As I thought this through I realized that it was ok. My plan to change careers and move, etc. wasn’t as much about me as I originally thought. I was only making that decision based on “needing to change something” but there was a missing piece of the puzzle though – a big one – I didn’t want the eventual outcome. Thinking about the end result didn’t make me happy. It just changed my career and job and not to something I wanted. It would be no better than what I was doing now. I decided the best action I could take is to spend the next 2 years actually planning for “my life” instead of jumping at the first thing I think of just because I’m desperate, which is what I had been doing.

I have since been reading and researching and soul searching to find out who I am. Still processing. Still learning but the biggest “Aha” moment I have come to so far, is this:

It is not about jobs or careers or what other people want or expect, etc. It is about making changes within yourself to do the stuff you WANT to do for you personally. Find out what makes you HAPPY. Fulfilling your needs and wants. Doing the things you enjoy. Once you find those things and do them regularly, you will be happier in all areas of your life. Even the job you once thought you hated becomes tolerable (possibly even likeable again) because it’s not your job that defines you or your life. Doing what makes you happy should. Changing your job or where you live is not going to “fix” your unhappiness. It might feel like that in the beginning but you’ll end up doing the same things you always do except you are in a different location.

Trying new things you think you might like, trying things you never thought you wanted. While taking the time for yourself and trying out everything you may find what you love to do, what gets you excited and you may find out what you hate, which is good too. Once you find the things, you make sure you take the time to do them everyday. And if those actions lead to a new career or a move or both then lucky you. If not, you’ll still be happily fulfilling yourself wherever you are.