Passions

One of the factors contributing to my current state of mind is the additional time I have on my own. I no longer "look after" anyone and I don't know what to do with myself.

It is an ironic thing because for 20 years I have been raising my kids and wishing for the days I don't have to so I can do what I want. Now that that time is here, I have NO CLUE what I want to do. And I have known this for a few years but didn't believe it. People warned me this might happen. And last year people asked me if maybe that was the reason I was in limbo with work and my marriage - that maybe it was not having the responsibility of the kids. No, I said. No way. I've been waiting for this! And it's true. I was waiting. And now I still am because it is up to me to make the first step to find out what I WANT, what makes me happy.

I read an article today that it usually takes years for people to find their passion when starting from a blank slate. Well that's me! It doesn't come easily for some of us.

Without me realizing, it is passion that lead me to my post last week. This passion "they" speak of ... oozing it's way out of you, right under your nose, in hindsight. The reason I think this happens is because somehow we've been led to believe that our "passion" is some significant "event", a great career or some big creative specialty like art or music or a NYT bestselling author. When really our passion is just that - ours - the thing that makes our heart and soul sing out, that brings us joy, that brings a smile to our face, makes us laugh, gives us that little bit of energy to get through our day knowing that at the end of it, we might be able to fit in that 15 minutes of whatever it is that makes us happy.

And the passion does not have to be only one thing! Nor does it have to always be that thing. I think it would change. Morph into different channels - pathways you didn't even know existed. I think passion needs support and acceptance for it to poke its way out. I think it stays deep inside, scared to show itself because of fear of what others may think (and you know where I stand on that).

Let it out. Encourage it. Let it know that you will be there to accept it every time. How? By noticing it and smiling and enjoying every minute - even if the feeling only lasts for one minute. Your acknowledgement of it will help you feel it the next time, and the next time. And it will get easier.

I think (hope) that every time we spend 15 minutes doing something that brings us joy, it helps to release more knowledge to us about ourselves and our passions. That it lets us see and accept ourselves more and more.

And that every day, little by little, we grow into that and other passions and the benefits of those 15 minutes we get spreads through our entire day. Our 15 minutes of passion has transformed us from the inside out. It radiates from inside. That is my hope.

My intention from today onward: Just take notice of the things that bring me joy, put a smile on my face and energize me. Don't worry about figuring out what to do with those things - just enjoy them.